What is love?

Musings, poetry & self portraits from a tender heart.

I hope you are well nourished as we float through Cancer season and begin to rise from the depths of Venus underworld.

Venus—the planet of love, beauty, relationships, money, art, and pleasure—has taken us on a whirlwind ride these last few months. With my Venus in Scorpio you’d think I’d be used to the constant upheaval and transformation. But alas, I am human and I am always learning how to open again.

With every heart break opening, I learn more and more about myself. Lately I’ve been asking myself the very simple question, “what is love?”

This simple question is not so simple to answer. Because love is everywhere.

Love is in the tender heart of a relationship lost.
Love is in the drifting breeze swaying through soft whisps of beach grass.
Love is in the tired hands that care for your mother as she loses her sense of presence.
Love is in every crevice of your bones, muscles, cells, and rolls of skin.
Love is in your imperfect piece of art that may never meet the eyes of an observer but it feels damn good to let it out anyway.
Love is in the way you undulate and shake your body to that new Beyoncé song that uplifts your soul to new heights.
Love is in the way you play and laugh with your children on a bright summer day.
Love is in your crooked smile that pretends you’re interested but really you’re thinking about what you want to have for dinner.
Love is in the parts of us we hate and wish were formed a different way.
Love is in your God, the Universe, and Mama Earth.

YOU, my darling, are LOVE itself.

My heart and body want to crumble to pieces at times, and hey, that’s okay, too. Because first, we must melt into the feeling. Feel first, then slowly and deliciously may we bloom into more of who we’re meant to be.

This poem fell out of me a few weeks back…

I feel myself hardening with every blow
Resisting the edge of the burn
Nothing can get in now
Coiling every corner breath escapes
Suffocating every inch
There's nothing left to touch
I would be foolish to let you in
Nothing feels real
Trust seems a silly word
I don't know how to soften
A stone left unturned
When will we realize
That's how love never gets in

These last few months, I’ve been making a lot of art (naturally), spending intimate time with myself, and leaning into the abundance of communities I have around me.

By the way, if you missed the therapeutic art class on 6/30, you can catch the replay here

Heart Break Swell

It's particularly hard
on days like this,
when I don't know what's up
or what's down.
Waves crash over and over
drowning my head
with words
I cannot understand.
The rushing tide pushing me
to the edge;
a place I long to be
—not yet ready.
Tie the boulders to my feet
as I sink down til the end.
It's not yet ready for me
to comprehend.
His silence deadens
the voice inside my head,
hardening the walls I've built,
yet again.
It's not yet ready for me
to comprehend.
Distance grows louder
touching abandoned wounds
brought to the surface
bobbing up
then back down, again.
Independent of dependence
I scream louder
at the walls
hoping the cracks
will thicken with grit.
Harden and soften
once more.
It's in these depths
I learn to love myself harder,
yet again.

May you remember you are not just a wave, you are the entirety of water itself.

With a blooming heart,
Olivia